Healthy attachment behavior is critical in order for any relationship to survive.
Children that suffer from early abuse, neglect, loss of a parent because of death or divorce, emotionally
distant parents, or shaming parents struggle in their adult relationships.
Attachment difficulties are on a continuum of disturbance that range from attachment issues to attachment disorder AKA
Personality Disorders. Typical adult diagnoses for adults who suffer from attachment difficulties might be borderline personality,
histrionic personality, antisocial personality, narcissistic personality,dependent personality, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other DSM
Diagnoses in the Axis II category Personality Disorders. Attachment difficulties present as a condition in which individuals have trouble
forming loving, lasting intimate relationships. Attachment disorders vary in severity, but the term attachment disorder usually is reserved
for individuals who show a nearly complete lack of ability to be genuinely affectionate with others. These people typically fail to
develop a normal conscience and do not learn to trust.
Margaret Meinecke and Forrest Lien have worked intensely with children and adults for a combination of 45 years.
Over the years we have explored the barriers to healthy attachments for our clients and developed a treatment model for
adults. This model has been well received by mental health professionals around the country.
Children that suffer from early abuse, neglect, loss of a parent because of death or divorce, emotionally
distant parents, or shaming parents struggle in their adult relationships.
Attachment difficulties are on a continuum of disturbance that range from attachment issues to attachment disorder AKA
Personality Disorders. Typical adult diagnoses for adults who suffer from attachment difficulties might be borderline personality,
histrionic personality, antisocial personality, narcissistic personality,dependent personality, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and other DSM
Diagnoses in the Axis II category Personality Disorders. Attachment difficulties present as a condition in which individuals have trouble
forming loving, lasting intimate relationships. Attachment disorders vary in severity, but the term attachment disorder usually is reserved
for individuals who show a nearly complete lack of ability to be genuinely affectionate with others. These people typically fail to
develop a normal conscience and do not learn to trust.
Margaret Meinecke and Forrest Lien have worked intensely with children and adults for a combination of 45 years.
Over the years we have explored the barriers to healthy attachments for our clients and developed a treatment model for
adults. This model has been well received by mental health professionals around the country.
Common Dynamics of Adult Attachment Problems
Difficulty handling conflict with other adults. Tendency to deny responsibilty for wrong-doing.
Extreme control problems, manifested in covertly manipulative or overtly hostile ways.
Difficulty showing empathy, remorse, trust, and compassion with others.
Lack of the ability to give and receive genuine affection or love - often relating sex to feelings of acceptance or closeness.
Resistant to efforts to nuture or guide them
Lacking cause and effect thinking, especially when around normal thinking.
Acting out negatively, provoking anger in others.
Lying, stealing, cheating.
Destructive, cruel, argumentative and/or hostile.
Lacking self-control - impulsive.
Superficially charming and engaging.
Feelings of sadness and fear that are usually protected by angry behavior shown either overtly or covertly.
Feelings of isolation and depression.
Feelings of frustration and stress.
Addictive behavior i.e., substance abuse, sex addiction, work addiction, gambling addiction, etc.
Extreme control problems, manifested in covertly manipulative or overtly hostile ways.
Difficulty showing empathy, remorse, trust, and compassion with others.
Lack of the ability to give and receive genuine affection or love - often relating sex to feelings of acceptance or closeness.
Resistant to efforts to nuture or guide them
Lacking cause and effect thinking, especially when around normal thinking.
Acting out negatively, provoking anger in others.
Lying, stealing, cheating.
Destructive, cruel, argumentative and/or hostile.
Lacking self-control - impulsive.
Superficially charming and engaging.
Feelings of sadness and fear that are usually protected by angry behavior shown either overtly or covertly.
Feelings of isolation and depression.
Feelings of frustration and stress.
Addictive behavior i.e., substance abuse, sex addiction, work addiction, gambling addiction, etc.
Distortions in Thinking
As children, our brains organize relative to the environment in which we grow up - either safe and secure or scary and sad. Our feelings are stored in the limbic
system or midbrain. One of the most common adaptive behaviors in which humans engage is “pain avoidance”. Thus, a child who grows up in a maladaptive
environment (physically or emotionally painful environment) organizes his brain in a maladaptive style of survival behavior. This organization of the brain creates a tendency to function more from a reasoning place of denial (which is a function of the right orbitofrontal cortex) rather than integrating the limbic system (affect
regulation) into appropriate cause and effect thinking. In other words, when the emotions residing in the limbic system are triggered, the frontal lobe jumps to
attention with a strategy to defend or deny those feelings. The two most common feelings triggered in these adults tend to be fear and sadness. Once these
feelings are triggered, their defenses go into action to protect them from those feelings. Adults with attachment difficulties want to be loved and accepted but
don’t have the“tools” to achieve that goal. Their cognitive distortions sabotage what they want and need. This is why traditional therapy usually does not work
for these adults. In traditional therapy, the adult client with maladaptive upbringing usually functions more from his frontal lobe. This is because talk
therapy tends to be more of a cognitive process for them. They never access and deal with their limbic-stored emotions. The more intelligent the client, the
better they are at defending their stored up feelings of inadequacy. As a result, they tend to get frustrated by traditional therapy and don’t believe
that it helps.
system or midbrain. One of the most common adaptive behaviors in which humans engage is “pain avoidance”. Thus, a child who grows up in a maladaptive
environment (physically or emotionally painful environment) organizes his brain in a maladaptive style of survival behavior. This organization of the brain creates a tendency to function more from a reasoning place of denial (which is a function of the right orbitofrontal cortex) rather than integrating the limbic system (affect
regulation) into appropriate cause and effect thinking. In other words, when the emotions residing in the limbic system are triggered, the frontal lobe jumps to
attention with a strategy to defend or deny those feelings. The two most common feelings triggered in these adults tend to be fear and sadness. Once these
feelings are triggered, their defenses go into action to protect them from those feelings. Adults with attachment difficulties want to be loved and accepted but
don’t have the“tools” to achieve that goal. Their cognitive distortions sabotage what they want and need. This is why traditional therapy usually does not work
for these adults. In traditional therapy, the adult client with maladaptive upbringing usually functions more from his frontal lobe. This is because talk
therapy tends to be more of a cognitive process for them. They never access and deal with their limbic-stored emotions. The more intelligent the client, the
better they are at defending their stored up feelings of inadequacy. As a result, they tend to get frustrated by traditional therapy and don’t believe
that it helps.
Out Patient and/or 6-Day Intensive
The term Attachment Therapy describes a wide range of therapeutic processes which may include inner child work, cognitive/emotional restructuring, nurturing
touch, and psychodramas (role playing), among others. The emotional recovery is intense because the limbic system of feelings is tapped into through the
interventions mentioned. A highly skilled team of clinicians create a safe environment for the client to feel their vulnerability and develop healing
strategies to recover. The goal is to help the client develop the capacity to trust and love, and by doing so, to live a happy and productive life. The
treatment approach may also involve psychiatric care by our consulting psychiatrist. This is because some clients also may be suffering from a mood
disturbance or other chemical imbalance that prevents them from engaging in the therapeutic process. We require a supportive adult chosen by the client to
attend therapy sessions. This person could be a spouse, relative, or friend that would be accepting of the client’s vulnerability and still be supportive. The
intensive therapy experience is a six-day process of intensive therapy conducted three hours a day. The time between sessions may involve journaling, sharing
with their support person, trying on new behaviors, self-care, etc. Therapy occurs on multiple levels—cognitive, affective, behavioral, interpersonal, and
spiritual. We know that each client is unique. Thus, a thorough assessment of the client within his/her life forms the basis for an individual treatment plan.
This assessment includes social history, family assessment, review of previous treatment, psychiatric evaluation, etc.
touch, and psychodramas (role playing), among others. The emotional recovery is intense because the limbic system of feelings is tapped into through the
interventions mentioned. A highly skilled team of clinicians create a safe environment for the client to feel their vulnerability and develop healing
strategies to recover. The goal is to help the client develop the capacity to trust and love, and by doing so, to live a happy and productive life. The
treatment approach may also involve psychiatric care by our consulting psychiatrist. This is because some clients also may be suffering from a mood
disturbance or other chemical imbalance that prevents them from engaging in the therapeutic process. We require a supportive adult chosen by the client to
attend therapy sessions. This person could be a spouse, relative, or friend that would be accepting of the client’s vulnerability and still be supportive. The
intensive therapy experience is a six-day process of intensive therapy conducted three hours a day. The time between sessions may involve journaling, sharing
with their support person, trying on new behaviors, self-care, etc. Therapy occurs on multiple levels—cognitive, affective, behavioral, interpersonal, and
spiritual. We know that each client is unique. Thus, a thorough assessment of the client within his/her life forms the basis for an individual treatment plan.
This assessment includes social history, family assessment, review of previous treatment, psychiatric evaluation, etc.
Therapeutic Process
- Identification of feelings
Validation of feelings
Encouragement of appropriate and safe expressionof those feelings
Education as to origin of feelings
Resolution of early trauma through revisiting the circumstances, reframing the trauma, healing the trauma, emporwering the client to grow beyond the trauma
Working through grief and loss issues
Cognitive restructuring of faulty thinking patterns, attitudes, and perceptions
Increasing client's self control abilities
Reshaping behavior to more appropriate and socially acceptable levels
Enhancing a self esteem
helping the client to develop a positive sense of identity
Improving social interaction patterns by focusing on respect for others and reciprocity in relationships
Helping the client to develop thoughtful decision-making skills
Helping the client to accept responsibility for his/her own behavior
Helping the client to develp the capacity for joy
Helping the client to experience and accept loving, nurturing care
Although this therapy is sometimes intense, it is always sensitive to the client. Self-defeating behaviors are confronted. individuals are asked to work very hard to face the difficult issues which perpetuate these self-defeating behaviors.
Confrontation and intensity are important parts of the therapeutic process. but the process includes so much more. We prefer that the client has established a therapeutic relationship in their community so follow-up services can be coordinated with our treatment team.